Lillienne

In a frilly party dress on the couch having a stick of salami and clove cigarettes for dinner trying to work out how to download movies on the computer because I haven’t done a load of washing since Ben left, or gone grocery shopping, and I’ve already watched the seasons of glee and boardwalk empire he downloaded for me to distract me while he’s gone. He doesn’t come back for another 2 weeks. If you never see me again you know what happened. 

The girl from work

DON’T ASK ME WHAT I’M READNG WHILE I’M READING. I’M READING. I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. WE ARE PURELY WORK COLLEAGUES AND I’M NOT INTERESTED IN FORGING RELATIONSHIPS OR EVEN PASSING NICETIES. I’M READING SO I DON’T HAVE TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE. AND DON’T ASK TO BORROW A PEN ALL UP IN MY FACE LIKE I DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO. I’M PARTICULAR ABOUT MY PENS. BUY YOUR OWN I KNOW YOU CAN AFFORD IT YOU EARN THE SAME AS ME AND IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT STEAL ONE FROM A BANK BUT DON’T MAKE IT AWKWARD FOR ME TO SAY NO BECAUSE I CLEARLY HAVE 3 PENS ON MY DESK PERFECTLY ARRANGED AND READY FOR THE SHIFT TO BEGIN. YOU NEED TO BRING ONE THING TO WORK. ONE. THAT’S A PEN. IT FITS IN EVERYTHING. IF I WAS YOUR BOSS I’D SEND YOU HOME EVERY TIME YOU FORGOT. YOUR INCOMPETENCY IS ENRAGING.

2011

The ups
-Anagrams and Scrabble
-Bateman lending me a dollar for the train
-Benedict Shatrov and letting me play my music in the car every time
-The Book of Mormon
-Building 25 goes to Brisfest
-Cassandra Iannella and our Skype dates
-Cat sack
-Debit MasterCard and internet shopping sprees
-First job
-First snow
-Girl love
-Graduating
-Hats and Couches (the band)
-House of M
-IKEA Tempe
-Jenni Medway and everything she taught me
-Jonathan Lethem
-Kanye West
-Kevin Ng and all his worries
-Kirby Medway and our plans
-Learning how to save
-Letters
-Maddie Lee and all her braveness
-Matt Abotomey and the elusive garlic pasta
-Meeting the parents
-Moving out
-My Darling Patricia
-Paid acting jobs
-Plain Jane
-Randy Newman at the Opera House
-Raymond E. Feist
-The Surrealists
-True Blood

And downs
-Measles
-My Opa dying
-Amy Winehouse dying
-The White Stripes breaking up
-The computer deleting my 1259 freecell win streak

Moving and packing

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Perfect love

“Waiting for the perfect love?”
“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”
“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.
“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are times in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”
“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”
“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. ‘Now I see, Midori. What a fool I’ve been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?’”
“So then what?”
“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”
-Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami